In No Particular Order

I'm tired. Which, frankly, has been my first thought sooo many times when I look at this blank blog form. But today I finally say it.

Mama is not doing well. She's having rolling pains in her back. By "rolling" i mean sometimes she has them, sometimes she doesn't, sometimes they're here, sometimes they're there. These pains started showing up as my belly got too large to be ignored; some have asked if there's a connection. (As in, she's got pain to get more of our attention).

And get more of our attention she has... she now cannot walk without assistance, has to be wheeled everywhere in her chair. Cannot (or will not) dress herself. Soils herself aggressively.

Spunketta is doing well. He needs to be fed every three hours no matter what. Which means I don't get to sleep more than three hours no matter what. I feed him for a half hour, he's good for about a half hour (or so) after that, and then he cries unceasingly until I feed him again.

H, my husband, does well on some days, not so well on others. He's smoking again, and drinking a bit more than I'm comfortable with. You can imagine, the pressure on him is incredible. He's the one (more often than not) wheeling Mama around and dealing with her soilage. I try not to ask him for anything with regard to the baby, but.

And that leaves me. And I'm tired. Happy, thankful, stressed. Tired.