Friday, June 27, 2008

What happens now

It's like this:

at one point in the hospital, one day that H actually made it to visit me (and Spunketta). H was playing and holding and cooing Spunketta (as you do). And at one point, H looks up at me, a look of vague panic dancing across his face, and H asks me

"Does this seem real to you?"

No, I answered.

H nodded in agreement. "Doesn't it seem as though any minute someone's going to come in and say, whoops! Sorry! Not you, not your baby. Give him back; you're IF."

It was my turn to nod in agreement.

Having a baby, giving birth, does not make me feel less IF. Hell; not being PREGNANT makes me anxious. I could explain, but it doesn't make a lot of sense.

BUT. As much as I feel a continued sisterhood with the IFers of the world, I realize that some IFers do not want to read the blog of someone with a child. *I* do not like to read blogs of folks with babies and kids. At least not those who blog about said child and kids. So if you're going to part ways with my blog... I get it, and God bless.

If you want to continue to read my blog... well, I don't really know where I'm going with it. I may become the kind of blog I don't read (about babies). I may look a gift horse in the mouth, and whine about the baby. I may just put up Mama stories.

I don't know.

So. Buckle up for the ride. And thanks for flying Sandwich Life...


Bea said...

Hope you don't get too used to it - would be nice to keep a little piece of wonder at it all.

Sorry about your bear, though.


LJ said...

I'm still here and reading :)

Elizabeth said...

With all the blogs that I read, I continue reading baby stories because I want to know how the story unfolds. Plus I learn a lot. But I know the ambivalence about what to write about now? because I'm in the same situation.

So glad that you have Spunketta in your arms.

And LOVE the Mama stories.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

I'll still read! I especially want to hear how Mama does with the baby.

docgrumbles said...

I'd love to read about your life as a parent.

Dianne said...

Well, I really would like to see where you go from now. And honestly, if you feel overwhelmed every so often - I think that is real.

So bring it on.

I am hoping for great things for your family.

By the way, how is Mama in response to Spunketta?

Katie said...

I'm not going anywhere, Nica!

I am looking forward to hearing how you do with this little one. . . which I am sure will become more real as time (and diapers and midnight feedings) goes on.

Samantha said...

I'm interested to see how your story goes! Maybe you should change your header and have you balancing Spunketta at one end (rather than your husband) and Mama at the other!

calliope said...

well I just got pointed over here and am totally looking forward to the next chapter. I am also in the baby making world and taking care of my Grandmother with Alzheimer's. It is great to meet a fellow traveler on this particular path.

so - hello!