Monday, April 07, 2008

Back From The Hospital

Okay, the high points: I had (have?) a placental abruption. Which we hope is either mended or mending. I was admitted into the hospital on Thursday, discharged this morning. Instructed to be on bedrest for the whole week and then see my doctor next week. Oh, and if I have any blood or discharge or pain, I am to come back immediately.

Hi, how was your weekend?

The long version: Thursday morning, I woke up about 1:00AM convinced I was bleeding. I checked myself quickly, and thought everything was okay. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

In the morning, I found out that my dream was right. Not a lot of blood, but BLOOD. I called the doctor's office, who transferred me to the doctor on call. She said come in immediately. This was 5:00AM.

But we couldn't.

H and I showered and dressed quickly. Then it was Mama's turn, and she does NOTHING quickly. I sat on the sofa and panicked. I was ready to wake the neighbors, tap on the super's door, ANYTHING to get me out of that door a little quicker. H was calm and insistent. We were not going to disrupt Mama's morning routine.

So we bathed her, fed her, gave her the morning pills. And the whole time, I am dying inside, hoping that whatever is going on with me is not time sensitive because the doctor ordered me in an hour ago, ninety minutes ago, two hours ago and I am still not there.

H kept insisting, the entire time, that it was nothing. Thought it was urinary. Nothing to worry about.

Anyway. We get to the hospital about 8:30PM. H starts to wax poetic about the last time he was in the neighborhood (the hospital is no where near our house) and how Malcolm X was shot across the street and starts this long anecdote that I do not have the patience of flat out mental ability to follow. I say "whatever" and that throws H into an incredible snit. He throws a small tantrum in the elevator as we're on our way up to labor and delivery about how insensitive I am.
I am in an awesome mood, let me tell you.

We check in and, as always, the first thing they want is your insurance. H answers all the questions for me, my name, my DOB, etc. The insurance intake clerk thinks its funny, and she and H fall into an easy camaraderie. Laughing, joking. I'm just numb.

When we're alone again, I apologize to H for being insensitive but point out to him that I'm a little stressed. He continues his snit and tells me I should be handling it better.

I get taken to triage, where they give me a gown and hook me up to fetal monitors. Apparently, I am having contractions, although I don't realize it. They put me on an IV, which took two nurses and four attempts.

I'm examined and found to be bleeding from my OS. What the hell's an OS? Here I thought of myself as this knowledgeable IF'er, and I don't know I have an OS? (The nurse kindly draws a picture).

A sonogram is ordered. An actual doctor is on his way. Phrases are being bandied about like placenta previa, placental abruption, preterm labor.

H keeps calling home, but Mama is not picking up the phone. He was too self-conscious to tap on neighbors' doors for help, and so convinced that this was going to be nothing that he left Mama home alone. Which we cannot do.

So he leaves me there, to cope with whatever's going on while he goes home to take care of his mother.

I try to put a brave face on it, but as soon as he goes, I am sobbing. I had been crying in the car (which irritated H no end; he accused me of using my tears to manipulate him).

I realize I have absolutely no one to call. No one who can or will drop everything and come to me and hold my hand and tell me everything will be all right. I'm all alone.

I get admitted into the high risk wing, which is (realtively) easy. My nurse is young and chipper and gets me food and water (my first of the day). She shoots me with a steroid "in case you give birth today" and gets ahold of my drugs, which I had completely forgotten to take.

And then I wait.

By this point, I've got an IV, a fetal monitor, a contraction monitor (does that thing have a name?), a blood pressure cuff and that thing they put on your fingertip. If I want to go to the bathroom, I have to call for assistance.

I keep asking for water, refilling my bottle with tap water and while away the day. There is nothing like a clock in the room, and I am amazed when lunch and then dinner show up. And when my brother shows up.

H shows up sometime later, having stopped off to do some shopping (He's all excited -- he decided to get a new electric toothbrush).

At this point, I'm feeling kind of hopeful. The blood is less and less and less. Almost non-existent. My (actual, real-life) doctor has shown up to check on me. I start to think, this might be over soon.

And then Spunketta's heart rate slows. Twice. Within a fifteen minute window. Slows below the 110 level they're looking for.

"If this continues, we're delivering you tonight," my doctor pronounces.

My brother leaves (previous engagement) and H and I try to process what the doctor's saying.
"So should I stay?" H asks the doctor. Once again, he has left Mama home alone, which we cannot do. So now he's faced with risking her safety or risking not being there when I (if I) go into labor.

I'm not happy about H leaving, but he insists. Mama needs to be taken care of. He promises me that he will be in Friday morning FIRST THING to see me. 5:00AM he says he will be there.
I go on my left side and I do not move. And I mean, I DO NOT MOVE. Certain postures make it hard to track the baby; I'm going to make it as easy as possible for everyone involved. (Um. Except me).

I meet with the anesthesiologist. Just in case I go into labor. I meet with the NICU doctor. Just in case I go into labor. I still don't move. Just to keep me from having to go into labor.

The night goes well. The discharge continues to be less and less; Spunketta tracks well. I get up every few hours to bo to the bathroom and stretch. By this time, in addition to the other gear, I've got "pressure booties" around my legs, to make sure no clots develop.

I'm told early Friday monring that inducing delivery is off the table (temporarily, anyway) and I try to call H. And try. And try.

Turns out that my husband went home, got drunk and turned off all the phones. For what ever reason, H just checked out of what was going on.


I see another parade of doctors, residents, nurses, nurse practioners, nurses assistants. At this point, they're thinking that I'm out of the woods, but that we're going to wait and see to make sure.

My brother shows up just in time to move me from the high risk room to the "antepartum" (?) room. The nurse asks if he's my husband. Huh.

We monitor some more (all's good). We monitor after that (still good). I finally gt the okay to leave; all I have to do is locate someone to take me home. (Because you absolutely, positively have to have someone take you home).

Finally I locate my husband, and we're off.

And we're fine.


We are so not ready for this...


Cathy said...

Antepartum is any stay before delivery that's not in danger of delivering immediately soon (or so I was led to believe).

The contraction monitor is called a toco monitor.

No, I didn't do the pre-term labor spiel and spend countless hours in L&D, why do you ask? :)

Glad everything is looking ok for now. Hopefully that keeps up - how much longer?

Stay in bed. Take care of yourself. Let others take care of you ... and slap your husband for being such a jerk during all that. (I'm sure he's a wonderful man, but .. uh, not in this situation.)

Familyof2 said...

I was starting to worry! I am glad that you and the baby got the all clear for now! What a relief!

Please, please please...and I am sure you are already a step ahead...get a plan ready for Momma!

Rachel said...

Glad to hear everything is OK.

I'm a new reader, but does your husband have a sibling, or someone else who can watch his mom temporarily?

He's lucky he's not married to me, I'd have flipped. You seem to have handled the whole thing very well. Take care of yourself!

Elizabeth said...

wow. thanks for updating, I've been so worried. Sounds like H is in a major, major state of DENIAL. wtf????? You must have felt so alone there.

Waiting Amy said...

I am so sorry you went through this h*ll this weekend. It sounded awful. But I'm glad things are going better. Take care of yourself. I hope things with mama and dh get settled.

Katie said...

I am so sorry. If I lived ANYWHERE close to you (instead of on the west coast), I would come and sit with you.

Thinking of you and that baby.

lori said...

i'm so glad everything's settled down, and i'm so sorry (and a bit pissed off, really) that you had to do all of that essentially ALONE.

thinking of you...

Coulter Chronicles said...


Found your blog looking for others who are going through exactly what we've been going through... and here you are. We're over at

You aren't alone.

-- Sean & Nichole & now Coulter

Brown Eyes said...

Your husband is an ASS. Anyone who would prefer to put their mother ahead of the mother of their child does not deserve to be a parent. They are a child themselves still.

You would be better off leaving your husband and his mother and taking care of this child yourself. He isn't willing to get a real job, put his mother in a home and do anyhting else to get himself off his mothers teat...frankly he is a jerk and too much of a Momma's boy to be useful to you. He put your life and your babies life in danger by delaying so that this morhter was taken care of. He should have a babysitter for her lined up at all times or use a neighbour...and the fact that he was unwilling to put you first should tell you something about him. He loves his mother more than you and your baby. And thats not acceptable. Your child has to come first. Worse case scenario you should have put yourself in a cab or called an ambulance and gone without him.

He's a a$$.

noswimmers said...

I'm so sorry you had such a scary weekend! Glad to hear Spunketta calmed down. Hopefully baby gives mommy a peaceful ride from here on out...

Bea said...

Oh good lord. Thank goodness you're back on track, and I hope it stays that way for a while yet.

As for your husband - well, I've only heard one side of the story and he does have a responsibility to Mamma so it's not really my place to get all critical but... fuck! Take things seriously, man! That was an actual situation that needed to be taken seriously, even if, due to external circumstances, it wasn't practical for him to be there every step of the way.

Like you and others, I'm sensing some denial there. I hope he snaps out of it in future. I think you handled the situation just fine, by the way.


Schatzi said...

Wow. What a crazy few days. I am glad to hear that Spunketta is now behaving herself. Frustrated you had to deal with it alone. Wishing you a less boring bedrest than I have been having.

And wishing you NO MORE BLEEDING.

Ivonne said...

I've started reading your blog again recently and am glad you got the clear to go home. Take care of yourself. And I'm sorry you had to deal with this whole situation alone. And you are much nicer that I would have if my husband had acted that way towards me. Yes I'm sure he may have been stressed too in his own way but he needed to focus on you and the baby, you were priority that night.

Samantha said...

I hope things are still going okay...

Cathy said...

Everything ok? It's been awhile ...