May 29

Have you ever had a day that's more than a day? It's a milestone, a watermark, heck it's a movie (complete with A, B and C plotlines).

Welcome to May 29.

The C plotline was this: Mama needed her M-11-Q filled out. This is an annual form that her doctor fills out and authorizes Medicaid to give her Home Care Attendants. Without it, no help. Sooo... kind of an important form, eh?

Anyway, the form is usually filled out in April, but about the time we should have been following up on it I was in the hospital. So our caseworker called us up in a panic to tell us that we needed to get the form filled out and filed by guess what date. (Yup, May 29).

Only Mama's current doctor does not fill out M11Q's. (What the...?) So I had to get her a new doctor (lots and lots of phone calls) to find someone who would see her and fill out the form tout de suite.

Nice.

The B Plotline: You remember how where I work was going belly up? Yeah. Well, after many (MANY MANY) weeks of nothing but rumor, speculation and innuendo, we got a hard deadline: GUESS WHAT DATE! Yup May 29. Going to be our last day at work. Much emotion, good, bad and short, went around. And! And! *I* was chosen to be retained/transferred over to the other division. So the morning of May 29, I was the only one who had a job. Of ANYONE in my little division.

Nice.

The A Plotline: You remember how I had to still be pregnant by a certain date to qualify for paid maternity leave? Yeah. By now, you know the date. May 29.

Nice.

So. Who wants to hear what happened on May 29?

As has been his habit, H took me to work. He held my hand extra hard and extra long and I kept breathing hard in and out. It was so hard to believe that I was actually going to be able to make it. I was giddy when I punched in that morning, humming Queen songs to myself. I was the champion.

H went home to take Mama to her doctor's appointment, and I tempered my good mood. I was the only one in a good mood. One co-worker remembered that it was my anniversary and congratulated me, but most didn't care about me. Heck, more than a few were a bit hostile to me. "You know they only hired you because you're pregnant," one spat out at me.

Nice.

H does not usually take Mama to appointments that need forms: I do. Same for appointments in the city. I arranged for NYC transit's Access-A-Ride to pick H and Mama up. Except that H did not understand that you have to be there EARLY, and missed the shuttle bus. He called me in a panic: what do I do now? Mama cannot walk far, H had left his wallet at work (so, no ATM card or the like) and only had about $20 on him. Cost of car service to the appointment? $24. What to do! What to do!

I remembered that we had emergency cash stashed somewhere and off they went. H called every half hour or so with a new emergency. Where's the Medicare card (lost). The Medicaid card? (lost). Where's the M-11-Q form? Etc.

Periodically, at work, one of the fellas that we work for (our division provided support, let's say) would come in with a problem. I was the only one who cared to find resolutions. Everyone else... well, it was the last day. What did they care?

At the end, I was so drained. I asked my boss if I could go home early and was told NO. H agreed to come get me and I sat outside my building shell shocked.

I haven't told the story well. But. it was a heckuva day.

More Blood (but it's okay. kinda.)

H asked me the other day if I had stopped blogging.

"No," I replied.

"No?" He continued, "because you certainly haven't posted in a while."

"Well," I began, trying to defend my inactivity "I just haven't had much to say. And what I do have to say is whining. And it seems so wrong to whine when I have what I wanted most in life."

"Ah," H said and wisely dropped to topic.

So. Sorry to be so away for so long, but. See above for my wimpy excuse. Which is not excusable.

And now the highlights.

As the title says, I'm bleeding. (Again). I went running to the emergency room of the hospital. (Again).

But! (and this is a big ol' but) it turns out ***OVERSHARE ALERT*** I have a yeast infection, and said infection is causing my girly innards to have the consistency of an overripe peach. So the baby's fine, the placenta is fine, the fluid is fine, but the cervix is NOT having a good day. And when my doc goes in for an exam to see if I'm dilated, I can count on spotting for the next three days.

So unless I get it under control, she may induce me next Thursday. YIKES.

As to the job... heh. FUNNY STORY! I've been picked to go over to another division. The relationship between my new division and where I work now is complicated. But

23 Days

Do we have our first L.amaz.e class last night.

And the instructor tells us that we will be going around the circle, telling a little bit about ourselves. (I always hate this part).

We're early in the circle; the couples go on and on. Happily, we're not the oldest (though we're up there). Almost everyone is a first-timer (who would go to L.amaz.e class twice?) And we're pretty vanilla -- all boy-girl boy-girl.

H leans over and tells me, "You should tell them about your job difficulties."

I think, no. And when it's my turn, I tell them about Mama. (Mama no longer greets me by name. She says hello and goodbye to SPUNKETTA, using his proper name, but me? I have been DEMOTED.).

The class gets a chuckle and we move on.

Then the last couple speaks.

She is a Human Resources Specialist in the parent company that owns the company division that I work at. That went bankrupt. Or translated, she will probably know if I have a job before I do. (He works elsewhere in the parent company).

DAMN I hate it when H is right (and I am WRONG). (I mean WHAT ARE THE ODDS?)

Still think that L.amaz.e class is not the place to "network." But. BUT. Will definitely be shooting to get our mat next to hers next time...

Wish us luck, eh?

29 Days

Spunketta Update:
He's good. They're estimating him at about 4 pounds, if he were to come today, WHICH HE IS NOT GOING TO DO (do you hear me, boy?). My OB says that if what happened before (the bleeding, the abruption, etc.) happens again, then I have it. Him. Done.

Which is a little... unnerving. I need more time.

And now, back to ME.

Remember when I said that the company that I work for was facing bankruptcy?

It's complicated, but it's going to happen. Please don't ask me to explain, because I don't understand it completely. And what I do understand isn't appropriate to blog about. Let me just boil it down for you:

The future of my job is uncertain. (Still). They are painstakingly restructuring, and I don't know how that will impact me. (Still). Rumors are flying and hard facts are scare. (Still).

It's nuts.

I have various friends and family asking me if its been resolved yet, and when I say no, they look at me slack jawed. "How could this go on so long?" (I don't know). "Well, when will you know?" (I don't know). "Do you think you'll keep your job?" (I don't know).

Etc.

My favorite question, and the only one with a unique answer, is "Well, what's it like there?" My responses range from "It's like being in a waiting room" to ripostes far FAR more dark. Suffice it to say, it's surreal.

Another woman in my department is pregnant. She works a different shift, so I rarely see her, but every so often we cross paths. She and I have taken completely different strategies with regard to the possible losing of our jobs. I have been very, shall we say, vocal with my HR department about letting them know I am p. She hasn't "officially" told anyone yet, and she's due the week after me. She's thinking they'll be more inclined to fire a pregnant woman; I'm hoping they will be less (and if they do fire me, maybe I'll get a little extra in my severance package).

I have no clue.

I am stressed, I am tired, I am not prepared. For any of it.

I am pregnant.