29 Days

Spunketta Update:
He's good. They're estimating him at about 4 pounds, if he were to come today, WHICH HE IS NOT GOING TO DO (do you hear me, boy?). My OB says that if what happened before (the bleeding, the abruption, etc.) happens again, then I have it. Him. Done.

Which is a little... unnerving. I need more time.

And now, back to ME.

Remember when I said that the company that I work for was facing bankruptcy?

It's complicated, but it's going to happen. Please don't ask me to explain, because I don't understand it completely. And what I do understand isn't appropriate to blog about. Let me just boil it down for you:

The future of my job is uncertain. (Still). They are painstakingly restructuring, and I don't know how that will impact me. (Still). Rumors are flying and hard facts are scare. (Still).

It's nuts.

I have various friends and family asking me if its been resolved yet, and when I say no, they look at me slack jawed. "How could this go on so long?" (I don't know). "Well, when will you know?" (I don't know). "Do you think you'll keep your job?" (I don't know).

Etc.

My favorite question, and the only one with a unique answer, is "Well, what's it like there?" My responses range from "It's like being in a waiting room" to ripostes far FAR more dark. Suffice it to say, it's surreal.

Another woman in my department is pregnant. She works a different shift, so I rarely see her, but every so often we cross paths. She and I have taken completely different strategies with regard to the possible losing of our jobs. I have been very, shall we say, vocal with my HR department about letting them know I am p. She hasn't "officially" told anyone yet, and she's due the week after me. She's thinking they'll be more inclined to fire a pregnant woman; I'm hoping they will be less (and if they do fire me, maybe I'll get a little extra in my severance package).

I have no clue.

I am stressed, I am tired, I am not prepared. For any of it.

I am pregnant.