All I Ever Wanted Was To Be Your Spine**

I want H.ous.e MD to be my RE. Tell the truth; you do, too.

There's never been a puzzle he couldn't fix. (Okay, a patient or two has died, but he figured it out... eventually...)

It was a goofy comment H made a while back, but it inspired me. When a mysteriously ill patient comes to the H.ous.e team's attention, they gather in a conference room and mark up a dry erase board with all the symptoms. And I decided to do the same (minus the conference room and board).

Now, because H.ous.e is a TV show, the symptoms are always relevant. And get treated with a level of respect. Mine... not so much.

I know I've mentioned the hypothyroidism.* But have I mentioned my spine?

I have, um, a reverse curve spine. (I don't know if it has a proper term) It's concentrated in my lower back. I was diagnosed when I was in high school. The doctor wanted me to wear a brace, but my mother said no. (I don't know why).

Because of the curve, my hips have to compensate. And my hips are TIRED of compensating. So the right one has started to hurt.

It was nothing more than a dull ache, but I mentioned it to first RE. Who was very un-H.ous.e-like and said it had NO connection. But I figured, my hip is IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD of the party I'm trying to host; may as well make sure the welcoming map is out for the whole neighborhood.

So last year, I went to see a chiropractor. I had seen one before, but this one was thorough. he actually had be take x-rays. Of the spine. (I'd been to another Chiro, who jut popped my bones about and nothing more, and I'd been to see my GP, who ordered x-rays of the hip and only the hip, because THAT was what was hurting. And my hips are structurally fine, they just get moved too often. I have new found respect for Charo...)

And looking at my spine, he saw the curve. And he was convinced that it could have an impact. After all, what are those things in the middle of spines? Oh, yeah -- nerves. It can't be good that they're having a traffic jam. NO ONE likes a traffic jam.

Anyway, that was last year. And now I have health insurance! So I took it up a notch, and yesterday I went to a Physical Therapist.

Ow.

My PT needed to conduct an evaluation. My PT is a huge (6 and a half foot) muscly fella with some sort of Russian-Polish-Slavic accent. "We put you on rack and stretch you out!" he chortled in a somewhat evil way. (I started having B.on.d movie flashbacks).

He grabbed my ankle, knee, etc. and tested my flexibility. Can my ankle go over my ear? Does it hurt when he pulls my knee off? (Okay, I'm exaggerating, but it hurt).

My spine is definitely a problem, my PT says. "I can drink soup from your back" he says. (I'm not kidding). Yeah, THERE'S an image for you. But it can be fixed.

All I have to do is STRETCH (and meet with the PT two to three times a week).

I may be glad about it later but DAMN and I hurting this morning....


________________________________
**A title of an A.rchers of Loa.f song.

*(I have an Endo appointment today. Trying not to think about it; secretly worried the Doc will say "nothing to be done, Sorry.")