Thursday, January 18, 2007

And the Ward Goes To...

We didn't go. But not for any reasons you might think.

It turns out that H’s friend has beliefs that preclude non-family members from viewing the baby until the baby is a certain age. (Eight months, I think, but don’t quote me). These same beliefs prohibit them from receiving gifts (so no online registry), from taking photos the baby and from getting the baby formally named (although I think the naming happens sooner than the viewing, but again. Don't quote me).

So, uh, yeah. We didn’t go.

I've heard of traditions like this before (I have 2 co-workers who did the same) but I have to say, my first reaction was negative. And then I thought about it.

And then I remembered us. The minute we got a positive on our Beta test, H was calling everyone in sight telling them we were a go. I was slightly more restrained, but only slightly. (I started my online registry). And then when the pregnancy ended (most doctors agree it was a c.hemica.l p.regnanc.y, although the RE who did the implantation insists it wasn't) H had to call up -- or at least deal with -- all the folks he had told. Me, I only had to hit the DELETE button a few times (sobbing all the way).

Some folks start celebrating at 7 weeks, when they hear the heartbeat. But those of us who have been around the blogs know that that's not even a guarantee that all will be well. Heck, we IF'ers know that even giving birth is not an indication that it's all roses. Sadly, we now all know the tale of someone somewhere that it didn't work out for.

So eight months. Keeping the child indoors and under wraps for eight months. Protecting them fiercely, keeping them close, watching them like a hawk. And then at eight months, taking them to your place of worship, dedicating them to God and presenting them to the world.

And so when I thought about it, I liked the eight moth waiting period. Not that, necessarily, waiting to have your child photographed and out in public will have an impact on whether they survive. But that is (God forbid) something bad happens... it's a private thing. No phone calls to make. No registries to delete. No onesies I purchased in a moment of hope that I can't bear to throw out but hate having to keep.

The waiting makes sense to me.

(Not that I'll ever do it...)


Bea said...

It is, it's just extending that line to be ultra-conservative when it comes to your optimism. No, I won't be doing it either. Although I'm currently of the opinion a 12 week pregnancy announcement is far too early. We'll see how opinions are when/if we get there.

Also, Mr Bea and I had a good laugh about your late vote for Navarro. Wow - you've been frustratedly sitting on that all week?


TeamWinks said...

I would have to say eight months is a bit much. Two, three, four weeks in the house, sure. No photographs, fat chance. I'm like a Japanese tourist. (I love the Japanese, no worries. Visited there for a month, loved it. Amen. Regardless, they take a ton of photos.)

I miscarried twins at 14 weeks. I say hold out for the three month marker, and if you miscarry after that point you will have a large support network.

SmarshyBoy said...

Hi, I'm new here. Nice place you got.

Was this Baby Suri by any chance? Sounds like Scien.tology.

You certainly seem to be balancing alot of things quite well, and keeping your sense of humor as well. It's inspiring.