We Tell Mama (er NONA) Tomorrow

Yes, that's right.

We haven't told Mama (um, now NONA yet).

We've told a few other people, but not made any big announcements. And we didn't tell her, well, because we weren't sure if she'd be jealous, and we didn't want her asking about it if things went wrong.

But, on Friday I will be 12 weeks, which everyone says is the hurdle. So. We're telling her.

If I don't sound excited, well. I'm a bit nervous. I'd wanted to wait.

Nona's going into a psych eval in 2 weeks, brought about by her hitting me and saying "I kill your baby." Mind you, her care facility does not care so much that she's hitting me, just that she's hitting. They are afraid that she will strike out at someone else. I replied, "only if the someone else is possibly producing a grandchild" but they are still making us go.

I'd wanted to wait until after her eval to tell her, perhaps asking a shrink for advice, but H is bursting to tell her. And we've been doing a lot of talking about what her role will be "when we have a baby." Trying to help her visualize what it will be like for her. And I really don't think... but. But.

But we're going to tell her, because I'm 12 weeks. (Or will be). We want to start talking about continuing the family. Because it feels like a lie not to tell her.

I am guardedly hopeful that the psych facility (which is said to have all this wonderful dementia experience) will have some THERAPY for her, as everyone thus far has just been talking about PILLS. But for the most part, H and I are very scared about the evaluation. Like, somehow that they will say she's a danger to herself and put her on zombie-making drugs and submit her to electro shock therapy, or (my husband's worst fear) take her away from us.

H was so stressed he yelled at me last week. "It's because of your calling," he said, that all of this was happening.

"So sorry," I replied. "Next time, I'll stand there and just get hit. And not try to defend the welfare of your child."

He apologized. We're both scared.

So!

I've photocopied the sonogram picture (I want to be able to give her something she can keep) and will talk to H about how (exactly) we plan to spring it on the new grandmother-to-be.

This should be interesting.