Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Drugs, Drugs and Hugs

So I called and ordered my drugs. My insurance demands that I order all exciting drugs through a mail-order pharmacy that they seem to own. When I went to see my new RE practice all those months ago (How it Went) they gave me a list of drugs that I was going to be using. And when I asked what sort of coverage there would be (ie, how much $$) they just faxed it to my insurance company.

Who thought it was an order, told me it was going to be $1500, and did I have a credit card?

EEP. $1500 is too much (for me) to spend until I know that I am going to try.

And now I do.

I have a million fears, only some of which are fertility-related. H has been very clear about the fact that he wants to wait until we are more financially solvent. As in, next year. He realizes that this is "just his fear talking" and when he mentions it, we fight, argue and discuss our next move. I keep pointing out I'm 40, insurance runs out at 44 and while (to him) that seems like a long time, it's not. But he's got a valid point about trying to get out debt in check.

So, in addition to every step being tense and scary because it's IVF, every step is tense and scary because I keep having to shore up my husband's commitment to the process. And I keep having to fight feeling selfish for doing this. (Can anyone relate? Anyone at all?)


Bea said...

No. We cannot relate at all. Of course not. Hehem.

But I think your reasoning is sound. And I think it's normal to have misgivings about something - even if you have to invent or augment them. Hopefully the stress will stay under control for any of you.


Bea said...

All of you.


Bea said...



Heather said...

I love Bea.

I hate how many plays such a huge part for so many of us. We have done the argument more than I care to think about. It is just another thing about IF that SUCKS!

SULLY said...

GASP...$1500 for DRUGS....I shall further respond when I pick myself up off the floor!

Remind me later to get your in touch w/a company who offers em' free!

littledifficult said...

I can definitely relate...it is really tough to feel like you are the main pusher behind IF treatment.

Who offers drugs for free? I am a first time IVF'er and just spent nearly $2,200 on drugs!

SULLY said...


If you are a self pay meds person you order 2 rounds, you get the 3rd free.

If insurance picks any of it up then you don't qualify...

Another good resource...