Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Abby Normal

I have such a longing for normalcy these days. (And normalcy is damned elusive).

H met with the Mama's doctor and the day care director yesterday. I offered to take the day off of work and go with them, but H refused. I tried to sit down with H and go over all our concerns (the hitting, the belligerence, etc.) but H resisted. UNTIL. Until two minutes before his meeting, when he calls me at work and asks, "Okay, what are the problems again?"


Anyway, they recommended a social worker, H told me. What's the social worker going to do? I asked H. He wasn't sure. Who's the social worker working for? He wasn't sure. Why did they recommend a social worker? He wasn't sure.

Next time, I definitely coming with to the appointment.

We have not had the best of luck with social workers. Before, when we still dealt mainly with the of A.gin.g, we had a DoA social worker in our house every six months. And every six months we had to surrender bank statements, utility bills, phone bills, you name it. We kept having to prove that we were poor enough to not be billed for Mama in her various programs. (And even then, they billed us).

And every six months, the DoA social worker would tell me Mama would be better off if I quit my job and dedicated myself to her care.

If I've never mentioned, I'm the breadwinner for this family. And I have been for the bulk of our marriage. So I can't even dream of quitting my job, much as I'd like to.

So that was Tuesday.

H says he'll call the social worker today, and see what she has to say. Perhaps she knows of wonderful programs that will revolutionize Mama's behavior. Perhaps she will lecture us on how we bad we are at caregiving. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Tomorrow is Thursday.

Tomorrow is my scan.

Tomorrow scares the SPIT out of me.

I keep thinking if I was a normal woman would have more hope than I do. Which is not to say that I am hope-less, or any such. But I am guardedly hopeful. (And let me tell you, it's a 24-hour guard).

Is this going to happen?

And how are we going to swing it?


Bea said...

I will be waiting to see the results of your scan. That's a stressful enough thing without any of the rest. I have every hope for you.

But yes, I would go to the next appointment.


Heather said...

If you don't want Hope hanging around your house - send her to my house. I'll feed her and let her stay in my guest room for you. She can hang out here until you are ready for her to come to your house.

JAMs Wife said...

Good Luck with your scan, and good lucj with the social worker. Make sure you ask lots of questions. And next time go to the appointment no matter what. In general guys are not good about asking questions (or even thinking on the ones to ask). Hopefully if you outline the help that you need, the social worker will be able to find a way to get that help to you.