Monday, December 18, 2006


So we're so broke we're hitting the bill collectors up for cash. So what do we do this weekend? Go on vacation!

Okay, see, we're a member of a timeshare thing. And it was paid for, and we can't afford to anything for Christmas, so we packed up the Mama and the car and away to C.olonia.l W.illiamsbur.g! (seriously -- we're so flat we shook my purse for change to pay the tolls.)

Now, the park has a shuttle bus, and the shuttle bus is handicapped accessible. This is GREAT, because Mama needs her wheelchair to go further than a block. She has trouble walking on her own.

We approach our stop and begin to try to extricate Mama from her safety harness. A safety belt for her, a hook for each wheel and an extra restraint that I could not figure out. Most people give us space. Most people are patient (as we struggle) and give us room. Most people.

But who has the problem? The witch with the baby carriage.

She comes barrelling onto the bus, with her toddler on her shoulder and her stroller overloaded with gear. She's got a second bag on her other shoulder and is sniping at the man who trails them CARRYING NOTHING. She sets down her baby, her stroller and her bag is such a way that I CANNOT GET MY MOTHER IN LAW'S WHEELCHAIR OFF THE BUS. Has she got other places that she could have settled in? SURE, but that would have meant going a half of foot farther and WHY DO THAT.

The driver quietly and politely asks her to move her stuff. I don't know if she didn't hear him or was just too busy witching at her husband to pay attention. But she doesn't move. Finally, I'm so fed up I just say "HEY!" and gesture at my stranded and befuddled Mother In Law. 80 years old, mismatched, and crazy.

"Well, I have a child," she huffs.

I almost popped her. I freaking almost popped her. No court in the land would have convicted me.

How was your weekend?


Bea said...

Ah, yes, but the world revolves around fertile women, didn't you know?

Actually, most fertile women are pretty considerate. They don't seem to think they're more important because they have children at all. It's just a deluded few giving the rest a bad name and REALLY IRRITATING THE FUCK out of us.

(Is it ok to swear here?)


Heather said...

not only that, you should have kicked her in her shins too!

I'm not sure I could have stopped myself. I think I would have had to beat the crap out of her.

Nica said...

SWEAR AWAY! Originally, I wrote "the bitch with the baby carriage" but then thought, okay, maybe not. You never know when Karma is listening...