Friday, September 28, 2007

420

i.am.freaking.out.

If Mama sees someone sick, she decides she's ill. We've taken to lying to her when one of us has the sniffles.

What's she going to do when she finds this out?

For this and other reasons, we've decided not to mention or talk about it until 7 weeks,. Heartbeat, you know, assuming all goes well.

And that's another thing.

Assuming.

Assuming all goes well.

I know all too well, from personal experience and from all of you, what can go wrong.

Damn.

DAMN.

My mind is ALL OVER THE PLACE. How am I going to haul Mama around, now that I can't life more than ten pounds. (I had to life her out of the tub last IVF cycle. The cycle that didn't work). WHERE can I find a wheelchair with a sidecar? (Seriously. Anyone have a clue?)

Assuming that all goes well.

Assuming.

Mama's already asked me tonight if I was pregnant. (She asks frequently; it's not unusual). I said "No, Mama," and H freaked. I can't really blame him.

Mama has punched me in the stomach before, hard as she could (and she's a strong little elf). How's she going to react to this? (She's done it playfully, saying, "I kill your baby" and "I don't want your baby").

I am thisclose to getting her, like, a b.aby.aliv.e doll or such to see how she reacts. (She's treated stuffed animals in her domain very badly in the past).

Then there's the whole what happens if I have to go to the hospital in the middle of the night thing. Who will take care of Mama? My brother is a turd; I doubt this will be the moment he steps up and helps. And our friends are either (a) not close enough to tap for this, (b) too involved with their own lives, or (c) not someone we'd trust with Mama. (One fella in H's fantasy f.oot.ball league said he'd like to take Mama out and get her drunk and/or high, as her day to day logic, he says, is similiar to his when he is drunk and/or high. He has volunteered to take care of Mama, but oh hell no.)

I'm already saying I'll need a c-section, so we can schedule it and have someone take care of Mama. (Assuming. AAGW.)

My husband thinks I'm crazy, thinks everything will work itself out.

Huh!

I have to take another Beta on Tuesday.

When I am on vacation.

Anyone know where I can get a Beta done in A.tlanti.c C.it.y?

I know sane people, or people without Mamas, would be dancing with joy at this number.

But I'm scared sh*tless.

Not only do I have to worry about everything that can go wrong with gestation and all, I have to worry about the Mama.

(I'll be better after the second beta. Promise.)

23 comments:

dmarie said...

OMG--Congrats!! Wonderful news. I don't have any advice on mama. Try to freak yourself out :)

My Reality said...

Oh Nica! What an amazing beta!

Wishing you much luck with this and with Mama.

Bea said...

Well, I'll start with the good - that is a fantastic beta and a great start, and despite all the other worries I'm sure you wouldn't want it any other way at this point.

Then there are the other worries. Damn. It's going to take a little while to sort them out. I don't have any magic solutions, except that I have faith in your ability to cope. For example, getting a beta done in AC should be very solvable. I think you will get there.

Bea

dmarie said...

I meant to write try NOT to. Sorry. And I know it's easier said than done.

JAMs Wife said...

Deep breath. Try not to get too ahead of yourself and enjoy the moment.
As for Mama, I am not sure how much you have looked into community resources (or what is even available in your area). Check out if there is some respite care in your area that you could tap into for help with day-to-day things (like bathing) and on call care for when the baby is born and you need someone to stay with her. Good luck!

Heather said...

YAY!!!

Knock Me Up said...

Damn woman! That's a lot of worry for such an astounding beta number. Of course I understand but wouldn't it be amazing if you could just be like all the fertiles of the world and just know you are pg right now right this minute? That's a dream. 420 is a truly great number. I will be hoping and hoping and hoping that your next beta blows your mind. I'm sure there is a q.uest or la.bcorp in AC so you can find someone to do the blood draw.
As for Mama -- you will figure it out I think you are quite reslient and innovative, hell you figured out how to get her leopard print push-up bra to stay under her shirt.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Fantastic beta!!! Try not to worry too much yet, just take things day to day at this point. I know that is easier said than done...

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!

Familyof2 said...

CONGRATULATIONS!

That is a wonderful surprise!!!! Enjoy vacation, and good luck w/momma!

squarepeg said...

WAHOOOOOO!!!! I'm so stinkin happy for you! I know there are a lot of questions, a lot of concerns... but take it one step at a time and you will get through it.

CONGRATS!

Chris said...

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! I'm very happy and wish you the best. Enjoy each moment.

As for Mama . . .do you have adult day care in your area? How about an Area Agency on Aging? My mom takes advantage of their program and they send a CNA to her home for 12 hours of respite care each week so that my dad can be taken care of while she attends to things outside the home. Just a thought . . .

Tracy said...

Just wanted to say congrats on the fantastic beta.

I was also going to suggest adult day care or other community resources. At least around here, we're seeing a lot more "memory care" facilities/programs, etc.

Good luck with everything...you must be a special person to deal with what you're dealing with.

The Dunn Family said...

Congrats! Great beta ... I also have no advice for Mama ... but good luck!

chicklet said...

Yay yay yay!!!!! Congratulations!

Samantha said...

Great beta! Take it one step at a time for now!

deanna said...

So, so happy and excited for you!!!! Here's hoping Tuesday arrives, like, NOW!

serenity said...

First of all. Congratulations!

And yes, there's worry too. But YAY!!! Because 420 is a fantastic number. FANTASTIC.

About Mama - I have no assvice for you. Just take it a day at a time, hon.

WOO HOO!!!

JJ said...

Oh YAY! I was anxiously awaiting! GOOD news!=)

Dianne/Flutter said...

Congratulations, good luck! Breathe...just breathe.

hope548 said...

That is fantastic. I hope you'll feel like dancing soon! And it WILL all work out!

The Town Criers said...

Congratulations!!!

SaraS-P said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! As scary as this will be for someone with so much on the plate, I hope all goes as well as possible. I hope Mama treats you well!

sharah said...

Congrats, congrats, congrats!