Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Mama and the Toothbrush

My MIL used to have a toothbrush.

Well, okay, she still has a toothbrush. But she used to have a special, fancy electric one. Sonic-something-something. You know the ones I mean? One that whiiiiiiiiirred and needed batteries.

And BOY did that thing need batteries. Once a week, if not MORE often, we needed to replace the batteries.

Now, Mama loved the thing. LOVED it. Carried it with her wherever she went. Slept with the thing next to her bed. Wrapped it in toilet paper or tissue paper to "protect" it.

And we figured, well, she must be accidentally turning it on when she carries it in her pocketbook. She is using the thing to polish rocks. There must be some REASON why it ate bateries so.

Then, one day, we had a bad thing happen. Mama had, shall we say, a mishap. She was fine, some property was damaged, and we resolved to check in on her a bit more aggressively.

So one night, when my husband still worked nights, I checked on her in her room. I heard a strange noise, and was puzzled by it.

"Mama, do you hear that noise?"

"Noooo," said Mama, snuggled in her bed, covers up to her chin with only her face showing.

I still heard a noise.

In fact it was a whiiiiiiiiirr.

"Mama, are you sure you don't hear a noise?"

"Noooooo," she said again, and then thought about it.

"Wait! I think it's THIS!" she cried...

...and threw back her covers to reveal her electric toothbrush nestled between her thighs.

Um.

Um.

"Do you want to borrow it Nica? It feels good!"

Um.

Um.

Yeah, so Mama doesn't have an electric toothbrush anymore. (H couldn't handle it).

8 comments:

Somewhat Ordinary said...

OMG, as I was reading I kept thinking "could it be?" and sure enough. Wow, no wonder she didn't want that thing out of her sight!

hope548 said...

I saw where that was going too. Hilarious! I can't believe the things you have to go through sometimes, but I hope you got a good laugh out of that.

Hang in there. You don't have to fight, but it's certainly ok to hope! I will hope with you!

dmarie said...

I was thinking, "no way??" And yep, that was it! Come on, give the lady her electric toothbrush back! lol

amy said...

Poor MIL. No sex and now no toothbrush.

Alzheimer's is so hard on a family but it is good to have these moments to laugh in between the sadness.

LJ said...

Wow. You gave me a good little chuckle :)

JAMs Wife said...

Ohhhh that was way too funny! Thanks for the laugh (see there is a funny side to Alzheimers).

JJ said...

oh....my....goodness....this made me spill my diet coke--hah! Wow....=)

SaraS-P said...

OK, I spit on the screen for this one!!!